Author's P.O.V
Italic font represents flashback in one part
Location:- Lakhneri, Rajasthan
The grand haveli loomed like a fortress in the heart of the village, its towering walls hiding secrets within.
Zamindar Raja Veer Pratap Singh sat in his study, his fingers clenched around the armrests of his ornate chair. His jaw tightened as his mother, Thakurain Damayanti Devi, stood beside him, her aged but sharp eyes fixed on him.
"It has been seven times, Pratap. Seven daughters. Seven burdens. How much longer will fate mock our bloodline?" Damayanti Devi snapped coldly.
Seven daughters?
Yes, seven daughters.
He had killed each of his daughters without a flicker of mercy on his face
The haveli was built on secrets, its grand pillars bearing the weight of sins that no one dared to speak of. But Sumitra, the third wife of Zamindar Raja Veer Pratap Singh, knew this better than anyone.
She had come into this house as a bride
-a forced bride.
But the two women before her had left it as corpses.
His first wife, Janki, was a woman of noble lineage. She had been beautiful, educated, and obedient. But she had failed in the only thing that mattered-giving him a son. After bearing four daughters, she had been found dead in her chambers, her breath stolen in the middle of the night.
His second wife, Rajeshwari, had been a fiery spirit-a woman who had tried to fight back. She had survived three childbirths-three daughters. But survival was not victory. One night, she vanished into thin air.
The servants whispered that she had been poisoned, but no one dared to ask.
Now, Sumitra was carrying his eighth child. She was carrying the lineage of his empire-the very empire built on corpses.
Upon hearing his mother's words, Veer Pratap's jaw clenched. His fingers dug into the wood, his frustration palpable.
Yes, he had married Sumitra, a woman far beneath his status-against tradition-for her beauty. Against her will. But still, he never got what he desired.
A flicker of unease gnawed at him.
What if... it happened again?
What if... they found out about that?
What if...
His patience had worn thin.
His anger burned.
Without a word, he kicked the nearby table so violently that it crashed into the wall and shattered. He swept the wine counter with both arms, sending the bottles crashing to the floor. Glass splintered everywhere, and a sharp cut sliced across his right hand.
His roar echoed through the haveli. He screamed in a voice so fierce and enraged that the nearby servants trembled at the sound.
"Nothing will go wrong this time. This time, destiny will bow before me-or I. WILL. CRUSH. IT. BENEATH. MY. FEET!"
With that, he stormed out of the room, leaving Damayanti Devi sitting silently on the chair, clutching her prayer beads with trembling hands and a stoic face.
He marched straight to Sumitra's janankhana. Without knocking, he burst through the door. Sumitra, seated on the floor, lost in her thoughts, flinched at the sudden noise. Her heart pounded violently in her chest as she instinctively clutched her womb protectively.
He paused, staring at her-the woman he was obsessed with, the woman he loved. But looking at her now-her pale face, her frail body-none of it mattered to him in that moment. Blinded by rage, he stormed toward her and grabbed her by the shoulders so forcefully that her breath caught in her throat. His eyes burned with something dark, something terrifying.
"Listen to me carefully, Sumitra," he said in a low but dangerous voice.
She swallowed, her fingers tightening around her stomach.
"I will not tolerate any mistake again. It will be a boy. I have tolerated enough-but this time, don't you dare try to test me. Do you understand?" he gritted his teeth.
But Sumitra wasn't responding to any of his questions-just staring at him with fear in her eyes, as if stuck between terror and reality. And this made his already boiling blood rage hotter. He gritted his teeth, rubbed one hand over the back of his neck, and shook her violently, asking again,
"Do you hear me or not, Sumitra?"
This time, his tone was far more dangerous-enough to send a shiver down her spine.
Sumitra's lips trembled. Her heart pounded in her chest, but she forced herself to nod. What choice did she have?
"And if... if it is a girl?" she whispered slowly, without meeting his gaze-which was boring into her soul. She was well aware of it, yet still dared to whisper.
A bitter laugh escaped his mouth as he repeated,"A girl?"
A tear slid down Sumitra's cheek.
He wiped that single tear with his thumb-smoothly, not harshly.
"Tch-tch-tch... Brave enough to ask this question, aren't we, Bulbul?" His thumb lingered there for a moment. Without looking at her-though she was staring at him, her breath caught in her throat-he kept his eyes fixed on the tear resting on his thumb.
He said softly, with a smirk,"I don't think tum woh sab dohrana chahti ho... hai na?"[Translation: I don't think you want to repeat all that... right?]
Her face turned pale. Her eyes welled up again, but no more tears escaped. That only deepened his smirk.
His lips parted again as he bent close to her ear, his hands gripping her shoulders firmly.
"You know what happened last time, don't you?" he whispered.
Her body went numb. Her eyes instantly met his, her heart thudding in her chest as a memory-dark and terrifying-flashed before her.
He smirked, straightened up, gave her shoulder a slight jerk, and clasped his hands behind his back.
"Ohh to Bhooli nahi ho? tch...Achi baat hai... bhoolna bhi mat... warna..."[Translation: Oh so Haven't forgotten? That's good... don't forget either... or else...]
She nodded immediately-obediently-like a frightened child.
He rubbed her cheek possessively, something dark flickering in his eyes.
Though his touch made her body recoil in disgust, she struggled to free herself from it. It felt like it was burning her skin.
"Good girl. Now remember what I said-or better, be ready to relive what we left that night.", he snapped dangerous in her ear.
And then he slowly stroking her cheek, but she weakly turned her face to the other side.
His smirk deepened into something far darker. He stared at her face for sometimes as she struggled-sometimes avoiding his gaze, sometimes trying to meet his eyes-but failing at both.
She knew then-this time, there would be no mercy.
She had already lost everything-her dignity, her dreams, her love, her voice. The only flicker of life left within her was the child growing in her womb. Even that tiny heartbeat now trembled on the edge of life and death.
Without sparing her another glance, he stormed out of the room. The door slammed shut behind him with such force that Sumitra flinched.
She remained shivering on the floor, drenched in sweat and silent tears. They finally streamed down her cheeks in an endless flow-each drop carrying the weight of unspoken fears and shattered hopes.
Slowly, she tried to stand. After a few failed attempts, she finally managed to rise and walked slowly toward the cupboard. She opened the last drawer on the left and, hidden behind the clothes, pulled out a small, dark red velvet wooden box.
She held it in her hands, staring at it for a few moments. Then, with trembling fingers, she opened it and took something out. She brought it close to her eyes, looked at it with a sad smile, and gently moved her hand over it.
But suddenly, the sharp sound of the gate opening startled her. Fear overtook her face. She quickly placed the item back in the box, covered it with clothes, shut the drawer in haste-as if she feared someone might see it, destroy it, or worse-cause something terrible to happen.
With one hand resting protectively on her belly and the other against the wall for support, she walked out of the dressing room.
Inside the room, a woman-around sixty-stood with her head bowed low, holding a large brass plate covered with a red clothes.
Seeing her, Sumitra let out a breath of relief and walked toward her. She stood silently in front of the woman.
The older woman slowly raised her head to meet her eyes and said without any emotion on her face,
"Bahurani, uska waqt ho gaya hai."[Translation: Mistress, it's time]
Sumitra stared at her and nodded-blankly, without emotion.
The woman turned and started walking toward the exit. Sumitra followed, her expression lifeless. She kept one hand on her belly and, without looking in any direction, moved like a puppet always commanded to act without consent. The sound of her anklets and her soft breathing was the only noise echoing through the vast haveli.
"Aaj firse-" a servant almost said in a high tone, seeing Sumitra walk by, but another servant immediately silenced her by placing a hand over her mouth and whispering in a muffled voice,
"Shh, chup raho, jaanti ho na kya ho sakta hai?"
[Translation: Shh, stay quiet. You know what could happen, right?]
The girl went silent. Sadness filled both their eyes as they watched Sumitra walk without expression-silent.
Throughout the haveli, men dressed in black stood stationed at every corner. They held large guns in their hands, and on their faces-nothing but coldness. They turned left and soon arrived at a large room. The grand, dark red doors-marked with ancient inscriptions-stood tall, holding secrets in their silence. Two men, dressed in the same black attire, stood guard. Their eyes were void of emotion.
One of the guards had a deep scar stretching from the left side of his head to the end of his right jaw, making him appear even more dangerous. One of his eyes was replaced with a white marble ball, and the other was slightly red.
Seeing them, the older woman trembled slightly. The guards glanced at them, then bowed respectfully to Sumitra. She ignored them, her eyes fixed elsewhere. Without a word, the guards opened the door. Darkness spilled out like a shadow waiting to consume. The woman stared into the room with fear in her eyes, then looked at Sumitra-who was not looking at her, her eyes fixed inside the darkness as if it were waiting for her, calling to her.
Sumitra and the older woman stepped inside. A moment later, the doors slammed shut behind them with a loud, echoing thud.
Moments passed.
And then came a scream-loud, raw, and filled with agony. A scream so piercing, it sounded like pain itself was crying out. It echoed through the haveli's corridors.
The armed men outside didn't flinch. As they were used to it.
But among the servants, sorrow painted their faces-every scream a reminder of the cruelty that dwelled within the walls.
"Yeh sahi nahi ho raha hai, kaki," one young servant in the kitchen said with tearful eyes to an elderly woman, who also had tears in her eyes.[Translation: This isn't right, auntie.]
But the elderly woman said nothing. She just shook her head and gestured silently for the girl to keep her mouth shut if she wished to live longer. Though her own tears were flowing from her eyes.
------------------------
The night was thick with silence, but inside Sumitra's chamber, a storm raged louder than the skies outside.
No sound of birds, nor any sign of human presence stirred the air. Only the soft sound of her breath-and the faint clinking of red bangles on her wrists-broke the stillness.
She sat on the cold stone floor, her back pressed against an intricately carved pillar, arms wrapped protectively around her swollen belly. Her hands trembled-more from fear than from pain or cold. Her eyes were void of emotion, swollen from crying.
Dread slithered into her heart like venom.
If this child wasn't a boy...
Would she even live to see the next dawn?
The mere thought of losing her baby made her heart thunder in her chest.
What more was left to make her life a living hell?
Was there anything worse that could happen, compared to the disasters she had already endured?
She was drowning in her own feelings-the kind that couldn't even make a sound.
Suddenly, a deafening crack of thunder split the sky. She flinched, her entire body jolting as if the heavens themselves had spoken. She looked toward the direction of the sound-the balcony. But the next moment, she steadied herself. One hand on her belly, the other pressing against the floor, she slowly rose. Her nightgown clung softly to her bump. Her swollen feet ached beneath her as she walked barefoot-slowly, heavily-toward the balcony doors.
She opened the old wooden doors. Instantly, a blast of cold, piercing wind rushed in, stinging her skin. Her eyes shut involuntarily as the wind wrapped around her-sharp as grief.
She stood there for several moments-still, breathless-letting the icy air caress her face, her body, her soul.
When she opened her eyes, the world outside looked like an extension of her own sorrow.
Grey. Wild. Empty.
Thunder roared. Rain poured in torrents. The darkness stretched endlessly, swallowing the earth and sky alike.
It looked just like her life-stormy, cruel, merciless.
Drawn by something unseen, her feet moved on their own. She stepped into the rain. Her frail body was soaked within seconds. The cold bit into her skin, but she didn't flinch. Instead, she loosened her arms, lifted her face to the heavens, and closed her eyes.
The rain fell on her like blessings never given-like grief too long buried.
For the first time in years, she could hear her heartbeat-fragile, hesitant, but alive.
She tried to open her eyes in the heavy rain, as if trying to fight against it. After much struggle, she managed to open them halfway, though water kept slipping into her eyes and down her face.
A sad smile crept onto her lips as she asked,
"Are you watching me from up there?"
A loud thunderclap echoed in the sky, and her smile grew a little wider.
She waited for several minutes-it felt like eternity.
Then again, in a soft voice, she asked,
"Are you watching me from up there?"
Again, a thunderclap tore through the sky.
This time, the smile on her face slowly faded as she just stood watching the sky-wordless, but with emotions screaming in her chest.
Again she asked, "Are you still watching me from up there?"
This time the sound of thunder was much louder, almost angry-filled with rage.
She started laughing, but the rain and the thunder muffled her voice in the air.
Tears began streaming down her face, mixing with the rain, but still, she laughed-a crying laugh. A sad laugh, as if every string of her soul was snapping with each passing second.
Suddenly, she broke into sobs, crying miserably like a child. Her voice echoed as she wept, her tears merging with the storm. Her knees gave way, and she collapsed to the floor with a thud.
"You're not going to leave me ever, right?"
"Why are you asking me this all of a sudden?"
"Just promise me-promise me you'll never leave me, no matter what."
"But why would I leave you, bacchaa?"
"Aap humari baaton ka seedha jawab kyun nahi dete ho? Hum aapse kuch puch rahe hain aur aap bas-?"
"Okay okay, baba, forgive me."
"No, don't just say sorry-just promise me that you'll never leave me."
"I promise-I'll never leave you. Okay?"
"I can't live without you. I'll die-"
"Shhh... Don't talk like that. Nothing bad will happen-not to you, not to me. Okay?"
"But what if... what if you still leave me?"
"Even if I wanted to, I couldn't leave you. Rooh, do you know why?"
"Umm... why?"
"Because you're a part of my soul-the part without which my soul would cease to exist."
"Umm... matlab?" (Translation: "What do you mean?")
"matlab... you're the reason I'm still alive. You're the reason my breath still flows. You're the reason my soul wants to keep going. You're the reason I want to live-with you. Only you. And for you.
You're the reason my nerves signal me every day to walk the path you're on. You're the reason that every morning when I wake up, my eyes search for you. You're the reason my mind is constantly occupied with your memories. You're the reason my heart races every time you're near. Your mere presence makes my heart flutter.
You're the reason my life feels like life. You're the reason I believe in God-because for me, the God I worship is you. Because God Himself signals me to worship the woman who owns every one of my prayers.
You make me believe in love, in magic, in soulmates, in divinity. You are my last seven minutes.
And now you tell me-with so many reasons to stay, how could I ever leave you?"
"Umm... hm..."
"Areh, look at me-I'm not going anywhere. Never. Just stay with me and see how much life we still have to live-together."
"Really? We have so much time to live together?"
"Yes,Rooh. We have our whole life to spend-together."
"But-"
"Don't worry, Rooh... humari zindagi waisi hi hogi jaisi tumne chahi hai... khubsurat aur khushiyon se bhari hui."
"Aur waise bhi, ab tum atak gayi ho mere saath... hamesha ke liye."
"Hum atke nahi hain aapke saath... humne chuna hai aapko-sirf humare liye"
"And I promise... Your this choice will fill your life with happiness and only happiness... "
"Jhoot... sab jhoot... sab kuch jhoot tha," she whispered with trembling lips, her hands resting in her lap.
"You said you would never leave me, but you did," she cried, her eyes brimming with tears that now flowed freely, unchecked.
"You left me here alone-with nothing but your reasons. Reasons that are now a slow-death torture for me."
Her sobs grew heavier as she continued whispering something inaudible-drowned out by the heavy rain and thunder.
The rain drenched her, but she didn't flinch for even a second-as if the fire within her was burning so intensely that not even the storm could touch her.
She sat weeping on the wet floor, head bowed, legs sprawled from the crushing weight she carried. It was as though the sky was weeping with her.
Suddenly, everything went silent.
Her sobs turned into hiccups.
The sound of the heavy raindrops was the only noise echoing through the air, mingling with her trembling breaths. Her head hung low. She didn't react to the harsh drops falling on her skin, not even once.
But then-something happened.
A presence.
A familiar fragrance.
And then... a voice.
A familiar voice.
"Vanya," a soft whisper came from nowhere.
Her eyes lifted slowly, and time stopped. Her breath caught in her throat. The tears that had been flowing freely paused-as if time itself froze. She stared at him for a few seconds, her face drained of expression.
Then she slowly raised her hand to touch him and whispered with trembling lips, "Sh-shr-sh..."
A soft voice responded, "Yes, Vanya. Shravan. Your Shravan."
He smiled gently and placed her hand on his cheek, closing his eyes.
But something inside her jolted her awake from that fragile dream.
She suddenly withdrew her hand and began shaking her head, stepping back in disbelief.
"No-na-nahi-no..." she mumbled, crawling backward without meeting his gaze, as though her eyes had deceived her.
"Vanya," he called softly, but she kept crawling backward, murmuring something incomprehensible.
He sat there helplessly, watching her-the woman who once radiated joy, now shattered beyond recognition. His eyes burned with tears, but he couldn't do anything. And Tears in her eyes summoned a storm in his heart.
"No... Shr... no..." she murmured again, when suddenly she slipped on the wet floor and was about to fall backward-
He grabbed her shoulders just in time.
"Vanya..." he breathed, pulling her into a hug, shielding her from her pain-even if only for a moment.
"Tu-tum theek ho, Vanya?" he asked, checking her frantically, his lips trembling.
But she only stared at him in disbelief.
"Bolo, Vanya... tum theek ho? Kahi lagi to nahi?" he asked again, this time looking directly into her eyes. Her expression didn't change. She didn't respond. She seemed to be trying to capture the moment, testing if it were real or an illusion.
Without thinking, he hugged her tightly, closing his eyes as his arms wrapped around her shoulders.
But she didn't reciprocate.
"Kitni baar kaha hai sambhalkar raho, Vanya... par tum meri ek baat bhi nahi sunti ho. Kitni laaparwah ho gayi ho tum," he scolded softly, still holding her.
But she didn't respond to a single word.
"Tum sun bhi rahi ho mujhe, Vanya?"
He broke the hug but kept his hands around her arms, looking at her-already staring at him blankly.
"Vanya-" he called her name but froze when she suddenly pushed him away and stared with an empty expression.
He was startled but composed himself, reaching for her again.
But she raised her hand to stop him.
"Who are you?"
His breath hitched. His eyes searched hers.
She sat motionless. Expressionless.
"Vanya-" he began, but she cut him off.
"I said, who are you?" she repeated, her voice hollow.
"I'm Shravan, Vanya... your Shravan," he whispered, trying to reassure her.
She let out a bitter laugh.
"My Shravan?" she repeated, then laughed again, throwing her head back.
He watched her, heart breaking inch by inch.
"My Shravan? Where was my this Shravan when I needed him?" she asked, looking directly into his eyes.
He didn't respond.
Hearing nothing, she turned her face away sharply and said coldly, "Go away from here. Now."
"Vanya-please, listen to me once," he pleaded, reaching for her hand, but she pulled it back immediately.
"Vanya, please... just once, listen to me," he begged, voice cracking.
But she did not look at him.
"Rooh plea-" he stopped when her blood-shot eyes snapped open, and she roared,
"Don't-don't you dare call me by that name."
He stared at her, stunned, and again reached to hold her hands-
"Vanya, please... just once. Give me a chance, please-"
But her voice cut through his desperation like a blade.
"Why? Why would I listen to you? Hmm? Why would I give you a chance?"
She hit his chest.
"Did you listen to me back then?"
"Vanya, I-I had no choice-" he tried, but she interrupted.
"Choice? Really? It wasn't your choice?" she hit him again.
"It wasn't your choice to leave me? It wasn't your choice to break your promise?"
"Vanya-I-" he fumbled, reaching for her again, but she jerked his hands away.
She laughed bitterly.
"Oh, it wasn't your choice, huh? Right! It was not your choice."
She mocked him.
"But it was my choice..."
She grabbed his collar.
"It was my choice to hold you in my arms... when you took your last breath in these hands," she shouted, lifting her trembling palms before him-showing him how she held him that day.
"It was my choice to watch my whole world fall apart... right here, right in front of my eyes, in my arms."
"It was my choice to beg you to stay," she shouted.
"It was my choice to watch my life slip away."
He sat still, head bowed, hands hanging mid-air, unable to meet her eyes.
"Right! You're right! IT. WAS. NOT. YOUR. CHOICE, SHRAVAN!" she screamed, yanking his collar again.
The lava of her pain erupted in her eyes, her voice, her trembling body.
She clenched her fists, her voice breaking between sobs.
"But tell me something, Shravan..."
Her tone softened eerily.
"When you walked away... did your heart not ache even once?"
She stepped closer, eyes burning into his soul.
"Did you not hear me scream your name in every breath I took alone?"
"I did, Vanya... I still do. I heard every scream of yours, every time you whispered my name into the silence-"
But her words sliced through his voice.
"Then why did you leave?" she screamed, clutching his collar tightly.
"Vanya-" he tried, but she was drowning in her grief, deaf to everything.
"I told you... I told you, Shravan. I told you not to leave. I told you to stay-" she broke down, her voice collapsing.
He looked into her eyes and whispered, voice cracking, "I'm sorry-sorry, Vanya..."
"Your one sorry can't fix anything, Shravan! Your sorry won't bring back my Shravan! Your sorry won't bring her back!" she screamed, pounding his chest again.
"I-i am so-sorry Rooh-", his voice trembled due to immense amount of pain and guilt.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry-what am I supposed to do with your sorry? Hmm? My hands are empty... my heart is empty... my whole life is empty...Where should I fit your sorry, Shravan Dhanuvanshi?",Her voice cracked under the weight in her throat.
He stayed silent. He had nothing to say. Nothing left to explain. Nothing to prove. Life had already snatched every ounce of right from him.
"I begged you, Shravan... begged you to stay-for me... and if not for me, then at least for her."
Her voice trembled violently.
"I told you, Shravan, not to go that day... to stay home... with me... with her. But you never listened. Why? Why didn't you ever listen to me, Shravan? Why?"
She kept hitting his chest as he sat still, letting her do whatever she needed.
"I lost everything, Shravan... I lost you... I lost her... I lost myself that day."
She buried her face in her palms and sobbed.
He couldn't bear it. He pulled her into a tight hug.
She was crying-as if she had nothing left to hold on to-drowning slowly.
"Shh... please, Vanya, don't cry. It's killing me again-please... don't do this to yourself," he whispered, desperate.
But she didn't respond.
"Why did you leave me, Van?" she murmured, lips trembling.
"I swear I fought, Vanya-I swear I fought that day," he whispered, voice shaking.
"But everything was slipping through my hands, and no matter how loud I screamed... no one listened. Not even fate."
"If you were in that much pain... then why didn't you take me with you? Why did you leave me with a lifetime of pain behind you? I was hurting too, Shravan.
So why didn't you see my pain? Why did you only think of yourself?" she asked, teary-eyed, making his heart clench.
Shravan stepped closer, silence heavier than any apology. He cupped her face, his thumbs brushing her tears.
"Because she needed you, Vanya," he whispered, voice breaking.
"You were the only light left in her world... I had already faded-"
"But she's dead," she replied with a sad smile-and his heart shattered again.
"I know... I know we lost her, but still-"
"I lost her because of you, Shravan," she said, the sad smile vanishing instantly.
"Vanya-" he whispered, his hand lifting toward her face, but she jerked away.
"Aapki wajah se humne use kho diya.",Her voice trembled, eyes piercing into him.(Because of you, we lost her.)
He had no words.
"Vanya, I-I was not there-" he began, but she cut him off sharply.
"Exactly. You were not there. You weren't there when we needed you...You weren't there when he killed her...",Her voice cracked as she screamed, clutching his collar again.
"I lost her because of you, Shravan! Because of you!", she shouted at him with her eyes void of emotions.
He stayed silent-broken-his head hanging low.
"Aap kyun nahi the, Shravan?" she whispered. (Why weren't you there, Shravan?)
His trembling hands reached for her cheeks.
"Vanya..." he breathed.
"Hm...? Aap kyun nahi the humare paas, Shravan?"
Tears streamed down her face.(Why weren't you with us, Shravan?)
"Agar aap hote... to woh aaj zinda hoti... aapki wajah se woh marr gayi..."
She sobbed, jerking his hands away. (If you had been there... she would be alive today... she died because of you.)
He had no answer. No words.
Just helplessness-watching her fall apart.
And it hurt him more than when his soul had left his body... more than the pain of a thousand wounds.
Her tears-her pain-was killing him. Hurting him more than any blade ever could.
She began to speak again, her hands shaking, her lips trembling-as if she were reliving those deadly moments all over again.
"He killed her... he killed my hope. He killed my baby. She was so small. She was crying... she was crying-her eyes-they were searching for me-but he... he killed her, right in front of my eyes," she sobbed, clutching his collar tightly.
He held her securely, not letting her hurt herself in her rage.
Yet he said nothing-because he had no words to offer.
"She was this-this small. She was crying for me, Shravan. She wan-wanted me to hold her," she moved back a little, showing him with her hands, her voice trembling.
"I... I begged him to spare her. I-I... but-but he killed her, Van. He killed her!" she screamed through a loud sob and collapsed into his arms.
He held her tightly, resting his chin on her head, though his own tears were flowing freely, falling onto her forehead.
"He ki-killed her, Van... my hope... my baby. She was cr-crying... sh-she was crying, Van... my baby..."
She was breaking down-miserably-as if the dam she'd been holding inside had finally burst in his arms.
"First he sna-snatched you from me... then my-My Shravii," she cried.
Her breathing grew uneven-ragged-as her chest began to heave uncontrollably.
"I-I... can't... please... tak-take me with you, Va-Van... please... I-I-I can't live like this... I c-can't!"
Her breath grew more unstable, sending him into a panic.
She was drowning in her grief, slipping right through his fingers, fading in front of his eyes.
"Vanya, breathe! Please breathe..." he whispered, rubbing her back gently.
But nothing was helping.
She clutched her chest, gasping for air, her mouth opening wide to catch a breath-but nothing eased her.
Watching her like that-helpless, broken, fading-shattered him all over again.
This woman, once so full of life, was now breaking with every breath.
"Please, rooh... breathe, please. Sans lo, rooh..." he pleaded, desperately rubbing her back, but nothing worked.
She was continuously crying while clutching her chest, taking open-mouthed breaths that barely kept her alive.
He closed his eyes tightly, his tears flowing endlessly. His own breath had turned uneven seeing her like this.
After what felt like an eternity, with trembling hands, he pulled her closer, holding her against his chest.
Then-with his eyes still closed-he began humming softly into her hair.
"Lag ja gale ke phir yeh haseen raat ho na ho..."
His voice... soft, warm, trembling-yet calm.
The melody entered her ears while she still struggled to breathe. But somewhere, in the battle between her pain and his voice... his voice began to win.
"Shayad phir is janam mein... mulaqat ho na ho..."
He continued singing softly, one hand tracing soothing circles on her back, the other holding her protectively.
He opened his eyes, looking at the woman who was his last ray of hope-both in the mortal and immortal world.
"Lag ja gale..."
Her fists were still clutching his chest, but her breathing-though shaky-began to slow. He kept rubbing her back gently, grounding her.
"Humko mili hai aaj yeh... ghadiyaan naseeb se..."
Slowly, her breath steadied.
She rested her head on his chest, eyes fluttering shut. Her body relaxed-safe in the home that was his heartbeat.
He tightened his hold around her, careful not to hurt the life growing inside her. He closed his eyes, feeling her settle into his soul.
"Jee bhar ke dekh lijiye... humko kareeb se..."
He pulled away gently and lifted her face, cupping it in his hands, still singing through soft tears.
The lyrics felt like they were meant for her-meant for this moment.
"Phir aapke naseeb mein... yeh baat ho na ho..."
He pressed a soft kiss onto her forehead.
She closed her eyes, melting into the touch she had craved for so long...
The touch she had ached for through every sleepless night...
The warmth she needed when her world had gone unbearably cold.
"Shayad phir is janam mein mulaqat ho na ho..."
She slowly stood up, still unable to meet his eyes. She turned to walk away.
But he gently grabbed her hand from behind and continued singing.
"Paas aaiye ke hum nahi... aayenge baar baar..."
She froze.
Her lips trembled.
Her legs shook.
Her heart-already frantic-now thrashed painfully at the mere thought of him leaving her again.
Then-she turned and hugged him tightly.
As tightly as her broken soul could.
"Baahon mein daal ke... hum ro le zaar zaar..."
He whispered the line into her hair, holding her like she was the only thing left that mattered.
His own tears fell freely.
"Aankhon se phir yeh pyaar ki barsaat ho na ho..."
His tears dripped onto her forehead.
She looked up, wiping them with trembling palms, shaking her head slowly-refusing to let him go.
"Shayad phir is janam mein mulaqat ho na ho... Lag ja gale..."
He smiled through his tears and pulled her into another tight embrace.
As if it was their last hug.
As if the universe itself had paused for them-for this moment.
Yes... it was their last hug.
Because after this, their worlds might never meet again.
They stood there, arms wrapped around each other, the rain pouring endlessly-but this time, not in mourning.
This time, it felt like the skies were crying with them-tears of reunion, tears of relief.
Heaven itself was weeping for them.
"I am sorry, Van... sorry to blame you. I-I never-" she sobbed into his arms.
"Shhh... don't stress your breath, Rooh...I am here with you hmm!!" he silenced her gently, placing a finger on her lips.
He kissed her eyelids softly and pulled her into another embrace.
She melted into him, clutching his shirt with trembling fists.
They stood like that in silence for some time.
No words.
No sound.
Just two souls too tired to speak, holding onto the last fragile thread that connected them.
Then-breaking the silence-her voice rose softly, fragile like petals drifting in the air.
"Why did this happen to us, Van? Why did life take everything from us?" she whispered against his chest.
He smiled softly, stroking her hair with fragile affection.
"Maybe... maybe it was never meant for us," he whispered.
She pulled back, looking at him with hurt-filled eyes.
"Not meant for us? Humse sab kuch chhin gaya... aap-humari Shravii-sab kuch. Zindagi mein pehli baar kuch maanga tha... pehli baar hum khush huye the... toh kyun woh humari kismat mein nahi tha? Humne itna zyada nahi maanga tha, Van... ki humse sab kuch cheen liya jaaye," she said, her tears spilling again.[Translation: "I've lost everything... you-our Shravii-everything. For the first time in my life, I asked for something... for the first time, I was truly happy... then why wasn't it written in my fate? I didn't ask for too much, Van, that everything should be taken away from me."]
He wiped them with his thumb, gently smiling.
"Kisne kaha sab kuch chhin gaya, Rooh? Maybe we aren't together in this mortal life now, but our love-our love can never be taken away. No one can steal that from us."
"I know I'm dead... but my love for you-it can never die. Even after eternity, I'll still choose to be your Van. Even destiny can't take that from us, Vanya... and our Shravii," he whispered, cupping her face.
"She also loves you so much... she will choose you over and over again in every life. She will again want to be your daughter in every life," he whispered. But her eyes failed to hide it, and a sob left her mouth.
She clutched his chest and whispered with trembling lips,"No, she will not! She hates me... she hates me, Shravan, because I failed her."
"Vanya-" he tried to say something, but she didn't listen and continued sobbing in his chest.
"She was looking for me, Van. I was the only one for her... and I failed her too. She thought I abandoned her-that I didn't fight for her-she left with hatred, Van," she cried in his arms.
He moved her gently from his chest, cupping her face as he whispered,
"Look at me. She never hated you... nor does she hate you now. Never. Because she knew how much you loved her. That day, you did fight for her, but cruelty won that day over love. But that doesn't mean love fades-it never will, Vanya. Her love is far more than anything."
He was whispering, but she still wasn't convinced-still drowning in her guilt.
"And you? Do you hate me? Because I blamed you for everything?" she asked weakly, pulling away from him.
Instead of anger or resentment, a soft smile bloomed on his face.
"I can never blame or hate you, Vanya. Never! Even if you kill me with your bare hands again and again... I'll still choose to be your Van in every life," he whispered and kissed her forehead softly.
"Why do you love me so much, Van, when all I gave you was blame?" she whispered with her head lowered. But he hugged her tightly, careful not to hurt the growing baby in her womb.
"Kyunki tumse pyaar karne ke alawa maine kabhi kuch kiya hi nahi. Meri haqeeqat hi tum ho, Vanya. Mera wajood, meri har saans tum ho. Chahe main kahin bhi chala jaaun, jis bhi jagah... ek dor humesha mujhse bandhi rahegi-meri Vanya. Aur rahi baat blame ki-toh main har woh gunaah apne sar lene ke liye tayyar hoon jisse tumhare dil ka dard halka ho sake... jisse tum mere paas reh sako... mere marne ke baad bhi," he whispered softly.[Translation: "Because apart from loving you, I've never really done anything else. You are my reality, Vanya. My existence, my every breath-it's all you. No matter where I go, to whichever place... there will always be a thread tied to me-my Vanya.
And as for the blame-I'm ready to take on every sin, every fault, if it can ease the pain in your heart... if it means you can stay with me... even after my death."]
A single tear slid down her cheek.
It would be an understatement that even after so many years-or what felt like eternity-his words alone could still make her heart at warmth, even without a single touch.
"I love you. Forever and ever and ever..." he whispered, stepping closer to kiss her forehead. Her eyes closed in that touch.
"Maybe we weren't meant to be together in this lifetime... but my love for you-it didn't change when I was alive, and it won't change now that I'm not."
A single tear slipped from his eye and landed softly on her cheek-right between the triangular moles that made her even more beautiful.
"But I can't do it anymore, Van," she whispered, her lips trembling.
"Humse nahi ho raha hai... humare paas koi wajah nahi hai jeene ki," she sobbed.
He smiled gently, took her hand, and placed it on her womb.
"Wajah hai, Rooh. This child...",he whispered.
"But-but I'm afraid, Van. What if... what if it's a girl? What if he... he kills her too, Van? And I... I won't be able to save her either," she whispered, tears returning.
He held her face firmly, yet gently.
"Kuch nahi hoga-na use, na tumhe. I know you're strong. You won't let anything happen to her." He placed her hand again on her womb. [Translation: nothing will happen, not to her, not to you]
But she wasn't convinced.
And then-they felt it.
A kick.
She looked at him instantly-eyes wide, lips parted in shock.
He smiled brightly.
"See? She's also saying her mumma is strong. Strong enough to fight anyone-even the demons in her life-for her," he whispered softly, a faint smile touching his lips.
"But I'm not strong, Van. I... I failed her. And what if I fail her too?" she whispered, her voice breaking.
And again-
a tiny kick.
A stubborn spark of hope.
And for the first time in ages-she smiled.
Not fully.
Not with her soul.
But it was a start.
"You won't! You won't fail-not her, not yourself. Don't be afraid," he whispered gently.
"Even this child knows how strong her mumma is. I know my Vanya will protect her... even if it means protecting her from her own fears-from the whole world."
He held her face between his palms.
"You will give her every happiness you once gave the world. I know you're scared you might fail her... but trust me, Vanya, she will be the symbol of your strength. She will bring new life with her-for you. And in that life... this child will be the reason you smile again. She will make you bloom again. You'll give her everything you couldn't give to Shravii."
"Par tum saath nahi hoge na, Van? Phir main kaise...?" she sobbed silently, and his soul trembled at her words.
"Par main toh kahin gaya hi nahi. Yahi hoon tumhare paas... humesha rahoonga," he said softly, a smile on his lips that didn't reach his eyes-because he knew he wouldn't be able to look at her again, let alone stay.
"But my home is where you are van", she whispered weakly and he-he was just drowing deeply into the guilt and pain.
" Then, I'll carry you with me for forever", he whispered. "Everywhere I go"
She looked at him-no words, just silent tears.
He guided her gently to the old wooden swing on the balcony and helped her sit. Then he sat beside her, holding her hands.
She glanced down at their intertwined fingers, then up at him as he gave her a soft, fragile smile.
"You know why I fell for you, Vanya?" he asked, caressing her cheek with the back of his hand.
She nodded slightly, her eyes locked on his.
"You know... when a wanderer roams across the world, searching for a path in an endless crowd... knowing no one, silently battling his own fears... when every step only drags him deeper into uncertainty... when hope disappears, and the world turns into a thick, merciless darkness... when surrender feels easier than breathing... when his own voice becomes so faint that even his soul stops answering... when he finally believes he has lost the strength to live again-"
He paused, his thumb brushing the corner of her trembling lips.
"-in that exact moment... when a spark appears. So tiny, so delicate... yet enough. Enough to remind him that solace isn't outside-it's hidden inside the heart. That little spark pulls him up, gives him the courage to rise, makes the impossible path appear again, makes him believe that he can survive every battle, even the ones he fought alone."
His voice softened, reverent, as if speaking to her soul.
"That spark, Vanya... was you. You were the light that fell on my broken soul and whispered that I wasn't alone. You made me believe my battles mattered-not because I won, not because someone stood beside me-but because I kept walking. You taught me that strength isn't in victory, but in the courage to rise again after every fall. You reminded me it's okay to feel exhausted... to lose the path... to break-because the heart remembers how to rise." Tears slipped from his eyes, though his smile remained-raw and full of quiet awe.
"You are that heart, Vanya. You are that strength. The love you carry... it heals. It saves. It saved me. You didn't just hold me-you held my life together. And that is why I fell for you. Not because I needed rescuing, but because you reminded me I was never truly lost. You made me believe again."
"You were the light in my darkest night. When I was drowning, you pulled me out. When the darkness engulfed me, you dragged me back toward the light. When the world stood against me, you stood against the world-just for me. I never believed in destiny... but you became the spring in my barren, vacant life. When the world gave me wounds... you became my cure."
He placed her hand over his chest.
"You know, the day I first saw you... this heart-this thing that had forgotten how to beat-came alive with just a glimpse of you."
He gently placed her hand over his eyes.
"And the day I saw you... my eyes learned how to see again-to see hope and love I thought I had lost forever."
Then he placed her hand on his cheek again.
"When you called me yours... these cheeks-mine-used to blush so hard I almost forgot who I was. I didn't know how to cry, let alone smile. But because of you-I smiled. I lived. I bloomed again."
She stared at him with teary eyes, a tiny smile blooming through her pain-and he noticed instantly.
He cupped her face again.
"I was like a flower in a barren garden that everyone avoided-not because I had nothing, but because of my thorns and deadness in my soul. But you... you didn't stop at admiring me from afar. You touched the dead petals and the thorns-with patience, with love-and removed them one by one. And with every thorn gone... a part of me began to bloom again."
"You saw me-not the surface, but the scars, the fear, the brokenness. And instead of leaving... you stayed. You held me through storms I didn't think anyone could survive. You didn't love the part of me that the world saw-you loved the part I hid. And because of you... I' was no longer afraid of being seen. Because of you... I was whole and I still am. "
A sob escaped her before she hugged him-tightly.
"But what will my garden do if its flower isn't there?" she cried, clinging to him.
He held her just as tightly, resting his chin on her hair.
"Then I will become the soil that keeps your garden alive... until the flower comes back to bloom again under your hands. I'll hold every drop of rain, every ray of sunlight... just to keep waiting for you. And when I come back, this time... it will be forever-even if I have to fight destiny itself."
He brushed a trembling hand down her back.
"I will guard your garden with my heart. I will be the fragrance, the rain, the gentle wind... waiting for the day your this flower blooms again."
For a moment, silence.
He held her as if trying to freeze time.
"I'm not saying everything will be okay with one word. No. It's not easy to live when life snatches away every reason to live. But I want you to live again... the way you taught me-one step at a time."
He moved her slightly from the hug and wiped her tears.
"I know life feels cruel right now... but you'll survive-with tiny hands holding yours and a small smile healing your broken heart."
He placed his hand on her womb.
"She'll be like you-strong, selfless, determined. She'll grow beautifully... and she'll know how to fight. But one thing will be different-she won't let anyone break her heart."
He paused, voice shaking.
"I know I failed you, Vanya. I broke your heart..."
A tear slid down his cheek.
"But this child... she will mend it. She'll love you so much you'll forget what pain even felt like."
She rested her head on his shoulder as he held her hands gently.
A sob escaped her-soft, terrified-afraid that if she looked at him, he might disappear again.
"Par Van... main akeli ho gayi hoon yahan. Koi bhi toh nahi hai mere paas... sab jagah bas andhera hi andhera hai," she cried.
He cupped her face gently.
"Toh main ban jaunga tumhara ujaala, Vanya. Jab andhera zyada ho jaaye... aankhen bandh kar lena. Tumhe main nazar aaunga-har saans mein,har dhadkan mein. Aur jab tum girogi... tumhare rone se pehle main sambhal lunga. Chahe tum mujhe dekh na paao... main yahi hoon. Tum kabhi akeli nahi thi, Vanya.Kabhi bhi nahi."
He kissed her head again, the fragile smile trembling on his lips.
He closed his eyes, lifted his face toward the sky, and whispered silently in his mind:
"Kaash... kaash humare paas thoda aur waqt hota..."
His tears flowed quietly. His eyes remained closed as the rain kissed them both. They sat like that, in silence, for a long, still moment.
She stepped closer, her hands trembling. And suddenly, she whispered,"Is this real?"
He gave her a soft, broken smile.
"Real enough to hurt."
Her eyes brimmed. "Then why are you here? Why now?"
He looked at her with a depth only the dead could carry.
"Because you never let go of me."
"I don't want you to go... to leave me again," she sobbed, her gaze drowning in love and longing.
"But you have to let me go," he said weakly, caressing her cheeks with trembling fingers, his eyes locked on hers.
"But why?" she cried, still clutching his hands.
"So that I can come back again," he whispered, wiping her tears with his thumb, his touch overflowing with love.
"I don't believe in this, Van. I only want you with me," she said, determination steady in her voice.
"But I believe in everything when it comes to you vanya... even rebirth," he murmured, pressing soft, repeated kisses onto her forehead.
The implication resonated in the timber of his voice, in the way he kissed her-like he was drowning and she was the oxygen he needed.
"Please, no... I don't want that. I have no strength left to say goodbye again."
She broke. A sob escaped her throat.
"But goodbye is important, Love," he said, though his own heart bled at the thought of leaving her again.
"But why? Why are goodbyes so important," she whispered through tears, "when all they do is break two hearts?"
Silence. Only the rain answered.
Then his voice-soft, almost swallowed by the storm:
"Because sometimes... broken hearts are the only way to remember whole love."
She shook her head, crying harder.
"I don't want to remember you like this. In pain. In absence."
He stepped closer, resting his chin gently on her head.
"Then remember this...
That I loved you. I love you. Even in death. Even in silence. And that this goodbye..."
He looked up at the storm-filled sky.
"...This isn't the end. It's just the moment where you learn to live with my love in the rain instead of in my arms."
She stared at him, breaking from the inside out.
"I'm not ready."
He smiled-his eyes glistening like hers.
"Neither am I. But love doesn't wait for perfect endings. It just... finds ways to stay."
She didn't respond. She simply sat there beside him.
And there-the sky wept.
Thick, relentless raindrops crashed onto the rooftop, painting the night in hues of grief. The rooftop swing creaked in the stormy wind, mourning what it already knew it would lose.
Vanya sat beside him-his Rooh.
The world melted away, leaving only the rhythm of their heartbeats syncing in that fragile sliver of time. Rain kissed their skin. The breeze curled between their fingers. Silence fell between their breaths.
Far below, the city lights shimmered like fallen stars.
She breathed softly, her head resting on his shoulder, their fingers entwined like threads of fate refusing to part.
And then-he stiffened.
His smile faltered.
She looked up.
"Van?" she whispered, brushing wet strands of hair from his forehead.
He didn't speak.
A strange shimmer glowed around him-an unnatural light in the moonless night. She blinked through the rain.
No. No. It can't be.
"Van..." Her voice cracked with rising dread.
His hands trembled within hers.
And then-his grip loosened.
"No-no-no-NO!" she gasped, panic rising. "What's happening? Van?!"
He looked at her with a serene, heartbreaking smile-one soaked in sorrow.
"It's time, Rooh," he said softly, his voice barely a feather in the storm.
She shook her head violently, soaked hair flinging like waves.
"No! You can't! Don't-don't say that! Van, please! No! Not again! NOT AGAIN!"
"Hey... listen to me."
Shravan cupped her face gently, lovingly.
"No, no, no van ple-please van No! ", she was crying, sobbing, cluthing his hands as tightly as she could.
"Look at me Rooh, look i'm not going anywhere. I never could. We'll meet again-another life, another universe, where we'll dance in the rain under the same sky, in each other's arms. Do you hear me? We will find each other again."
"But there is no other universe van-because when we lose them here, we lose them forever!" she cried, watching him fade into air and water.
"No vanya, we'll meet again I promise!! I know we had so much left to share-the laughter, the tears, the hugs... God, those hugs that gave me a peace I never found anywhere else. Nothing ever calmed me the way your tiny arms did... those arms that never quite wrapped around me fully," he whispered, letting out a soft, broken laugh.
Her tears streamed relentlessly as she held onto his hands-already fading, turning into silver dust swirling in the rain like shattered stars returning to the heavens.
"I'm sorry, Rooh... but the time we borrowed... it's over."
He cupped her face with a dissolving hand, leaving trails of warmth and sorrow on her skin.
"I wanted to stay. God, I wanted to stay...", his voice trembled while he hugged her as tightly as possible.
"Then STAY!" she screamed, collapsing against his chest, clinging to him like a terrified child.
"Please, Van... I can't do this again-I won't survive it-I can't lose you again... I can't breathe without you..."
He wrapped his weakening arms around her, his form flickering.
"Shhh... you're stronger than you think. You always were. You'll survive. You have to-for your child."
The baby bump pressed gently against his fading body.
She sobbed harder, her cries swallowed by thunder.
"But what about me?" she wept, looking into the eyes that had loved every scar and shadow within her.
"Who will hold me when it gets dark? Who will love me like you do?"
"I'll still be there," he whispered. "In every breath you take, every tear you cry, every heartbeat of yours-I'll be there. Just say my name whenever you want me near. With every cold breeze, every raindrop-you'll feel me."
His legs dissolved-sparkling into nothingness.
"No, please-PLEASE!" she screamed, gripping his arms as if she could anchor his soul. "I'll die, Van-I swear!"
Her world cracked.
"No, no, no, no! You can't-You can't do this! Please... Van... please, no..."
He smiled through pain and tears.
"I'm not ready, Van! Please-I'm not ready to say goodbye again! Van, please!" she begged, voice breaking into shards.
He looked at her with a grief as deep as her own, fading lips trembling.
"Even if my body disappears... my love-my soul-will remain in your every breath, Rooh. Always."
"NO, NO, NOOO! Stay with me-stay with me! PLEASE-don't leave me!"
Her sobs tore through the storm as her fingers clawed at nothing but rain and air.
His tears-warm, real-fell onto her cheeks, mingling with her own, unnoticed.
He was disappearing.
And then his final voice-broken, haunting, eternal:
"Kuch rishton ka namak hi doori hota hai... jinka na milna hi zaroori hota hai..."
Her heart splintered.
With one last smile-his smile-he vanished into the storm, leaving only his voice lingering in the hollow air:
"I've always loved you, Vanya... in this life, after this life-till eternity.
In every universe, it's you for me and will always be only you Rooh, even if it's not me for you"
Her knees gave out. She collapsed on the drenched ground, her hands trembling as they searched desperately through puddles, mud, rain-searching, searching for him.
"Van! Plea-please-please come back! Van, please!" her voice cracked, shattering into the night like a wounded prayer.
She found only water. Only emptiness.
The thunder roared as if the heavens themselves grieved.
The wind screamed. The rain beat down-a symphony of mourning for her shattered world.
Her cries grew sharper, louder, tearing open the sky.
And then-with one last whisper, barely a breath-
"...Van... ple-please... don't le-lea-leave me..."
Her eyes fluttered shut. Her body collapsed against the wet earth, unconscious, cradled only by the cold embrace of the storm.
But the rain did not stop.
The sky wept for her.
The heavens wept for what she had lost.
The storm wept for the love that still lived, even after death.
To be continued.......
Here is the first chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed it. I've poured my soul into this book and specially in this chapter so please no negativity.
Words- 9859(This chapter was a little bit lengthy).
Drop your comments in comment section.
-Thank you for being here.
With love and respect.
-Stay healthy and happy.
-Karaᥫá¡.ִֶָ𓂃
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